Diversity - Harder Than It Seems

(copied from my 360.yahoo.com blog dated 09/07/2007)

When it comes to the difficulties of diversity, I have a mountain of experience. I am not a racist. No, I am not. However, I am guilty - very guilty - of stereotyping.

The topic of diversity has been on my mind lately, oddly enough, because of the Disney movies that my daughter has been watching. But let me start at the beginning. I was raised in rural Missouri, home of the hillbillies (was that a stereotypical slur?). Having grown up in a red neck (there I go again) part of the country, I was exposed at an early age to racism against African Americans. I didn't buy into the racist comments that I often heard; however, I believe I carried several stereotypes with me well into my 20's. Then two things happened that caused me to see the light. Now I view all individuals as children of God, regardless of race, religion, etc. - made in His image, all beautiful and yet all falling short of God's perfection - equal and unique. It's one of those God paradoxes I've grown to love.

One life changing event took place when I participated in a missions trip to Malawi (South Central Africa). Our purpose was to evangelize and plant new churches. We were only there one week and we saw God do amazing things! One amazing event for me was when God opened my eyes to how I see myself and contrasted that to how I see others. I had been told that we absolutely must behave above reproach in every way. We especially had to wear dresses only, cut to mid-calf or lower. Why? Because missionaries are respected as authorities from God and an exposed leg implied seductress, temptress, sinner. (God forbid I ever do this again)...I took these instructions to heart and began to assume that the people I preached to believed they were more sinful than me or that I was somehow higher than they were on the human scale. While preaching I implied this assumption and was later set straight by my pastor. I still get kind of sick when I remember all of this. Because of the gentle grace I received from my group and the people we were working with in Malawi, I was able change my attitude towards myself and others.

The next life changing event was a discussion I had with a friend who teaches racial tolerance in a Christian setting. He explained to me how his teachings are not always received well. It made me sad to think that Christians, persecuted throughout history, couldn't soften their hearts when hearing this message. Then he handed me a survey that he had given to his students full of questions about African American facts and history. For instance, when was Martin Luther King, Jr. assissinated? When is Black Heritage Month?...basic things that I should probably know, and didn't. He explained that it is not enough to just tolerate a race, or say that you love all people equally. If you really want to experience diversity, you need to find out more about other races, religions, cultures...people. Go the extra mile to have open dialogue, do research, learn about them. How can we ever be truly sensitive to diversity if we remain ignorant?

I will probably revisit this issue from different angles again and again. It is an area in my life where I need growth.

In regards to the Disney comment earlier, my daughter's favorite movies right now are Aladin and Pocahontus. Other movies that came out around that time were Anastasia and Mulan. It is obvious to me that Disney was making a concerted effort to address diversity in their productions. However, I am disappointed that each movie is filled with racial and cultural stereotypes. I don't want my daughters growing up with the same limitations I had. So, while the movies are very entertaining, I will be spending time helping my children understand these cultures in a more real way.

On that note, I appreciate any conversation about how parents can help their children understand other races and cultures in a more real way.

Fear of the Homeless

(copied from my 360.yahoo.com blog dated 8/4/07)

Two days ago I went to Walgreens to get a photograph developed for my husband's thirtieth birthday party. Sitting in the shade along the side of the building was a man, obviously homeless. His skin was dark and wrinkled, he had missing teeth. All of his worldly belongings lay next to him in a tattered canvas bag. As I walked by him with my two small daughters, he smiled brightly, waved and said something I did not understand, possibly in Spanish. I could see he was delighted by my beautiful girls. Instinctively, I smiled back...but I also picked up the pace, clutching my toddler's hand a little more tightly.

When I crossed into the boundaries of the store, the safe zone, I reprimanded myself for assuming absolutely everything about this man. I assumed that he was not a safe person. I assumed that he wanted something from me. I assumed that he was unpredictable and might harm me or my girls if I said or did the wrong thing. And yet, all he did was smile and wave. He didn't ask for money, he didn't move to stand up; I believe he was no more a threat than the clerk in the store or the gas station attendant across the street. He was just a homeless person trying to find solace from the heat.

As I left the store, the man who checked out in front of me was in conversation with the homeless man. "Why didn't I do that?" I thought. This experience has rekindled thoughts that have been with me for years now. I live very close to downtown San Antonio, TX. There are homeless people all around me. I see them every day. In my heart I have compassion towards them. I want to reach out to them but I am filled with inexplicable fear. My mind says, "Help that person!" but I freeze up and in most instances keep walking or driving. Why can't I at least strike up a conversation with them? Maybe helping them would be as simple as directing them to the nearest shelter or providing them a meal or paying for bus fare. Ben and I moved into our neighborhood expecting God to give us opportunities to reach out to the poor. The opportunities are all around me, but I don't act. It is very frustrating.

Paul says in Romans 7:15 (NIV) "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

It is a temptation to fall into self loathing when I know that God has asked me to love my neighbor and I find it difficult to obey. But I also know that God is growing me, albeit slowly. It was a major step of faith just to move onto a street so absolutely different than the country and suburbia that I knew as a child and young adult. I dealt with fear then as well. I feared home invasions, gangs, child predators, the works. I soon learned that I had moved into a neighborhood full of families. Hmmm.

There will sooner or later be a moment when I feel the call to act on behalf of the homeless so strongly that I can't help but obey. God will ordain the moment and give me triumph over my fears. The time, the place and the way will be clear. Then I know God's blessings will overflow for myself and for the person I try to help. And I will look back on that day and say to my husband, "Remember when I was afraid of the homeless? Thank God those days are over!"
Meanwhile, I must continue to be diligent in combating wrong assumptions about the homeless I encounter. Do not pass judgement over them or their situation; keep perspective by trying to see them the way God seems them. I especially want my children to observe compassionate acts and a heart of service towards the poor and homeless. I do not want them to grow up fearing the homeless.

Coming to Completion

There is a quote I often think of from The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori.

"Let us start with one very simple reflection: the child, unlike the adult, is not on his way to death. He is on his way to life. His work is to fashion a man in the fullness of his strength. By the time the adult exists, the child has vanished. So the whole life of the child is an advance toward perfection, toward a greater completeness. From this we may infer that the child will enjoy doing the work needed to complete himself. The child's life is one in which work-the doing of one's duty-begets joy and happiness. For adults, the daily round is more often depressing."

While I agree with many of Montessori's theories, I have to say this is one theory I do disagree with, at least in part. I love the description of a child enjoying the work needed to complete himself. It is what I believe is true for everyone if they choose it to be so. If a child is on his way to life then, presumably, we as adults are in life, in the middle of experiencing a full life. While she says that for adults the daily round is more often depressing, well I guess that's true for many of us. But as a believer in the saving grace of Jesus Christ, I know that I am not on my way to death. There are two scriptures here that I believe are appropriate.

Philippians 1:6 (NIV) "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (NIV) "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life,"

This blog is not intended to be an exegesis on life through Christ. I simply wanted to make the point that we CAN choose life and that we are being constantly brought to completion. And for me, that means continuing to grow in knowledge and grace...to gain spiritual perspective...to have deeper, more intimate relationships...to become more authentic...to start taking action on what I've learned. I want to continue to grow like a child grows, absorbing information from all around me, especially through experiences and through talking with others. Some of the things I plan to investigate are as follows:

Poverty - where do I fit in the fight against it?

Community - how do I draw a community into my life?

Salt & Light - how do I become a seasoning and a source of life in my community?

Restoration - how can I become involved in the restoration of the inner city?

Fear - how much of my life's decisions and reactions are based solely on fear and not on reality?

Growth - where do I see spiritual growth in my own life?

Beauty - how can I draw out the beauty in life and give it to others?

Stewardship of the Earth - how can I become a more responsible steward of Earth?

Racism - what is my part in breaking the patterns of racism in my life and in my country?

Intimacy - how will I become more intimate in my relationship with God and with others?

Spiritual Depravity - what should I do when I encounter indivuals starved for spiritual growth? How will I fight spiritual depravity in own life?

Depression - what can I do to combat periods of depression?

Motherhood - how can I pass on the truths I learn to my children, so that they may grow spiritually as well?

Marriage - I think this topic speaks for itself.

The list goes on and on. I would love to be in intelligent conversation with anyone willing to join me in my journey. I promise now that I will treat every person with dignity and respect in my conversations and I promise to be authentic, always speaking honestly and with love. Welcome to my blog.